Teaching Kids to Respond vs. React

This question came in from a Success 2.0 Webcast

“How did you kids learn how to RESPOND rather than REACT?” Shoshannah

Shoshannah, we kids learned by example, and by reminder!  I think most people, especially when they are kids, have a tendency to react when things don’t go their way.  I can remember numerous occasions growing up when Dad would get “bad” news that would impact our family plans.  It could have been rain on a vacation day, or a delayed flight, or whatever, but every time Dad always immediately focused on what we could do.  I didn’t realize it at the time, but now I see that he was showing us that sometimes negative things happen, but those things don’t have to ruin our day, and we have that choice.

And, of course, he would “remind” us as well.  When I would start to whine or complain about something, Dad would cut me off and remind me that I didn’t “have” to cut the grass, I “got” to cut the grass!  A simple word change that turned a “have to” into a “get to.”  Plus a firm reminder that whining and complaining would do no good and it is not tolerated.

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3 Comments on “Teaching Kids to Respond vs. React”

  1. Michelle Mospens Says:

    Wonderful! I love POSITIVE people and you and your father are amazing. Keep writing, I’ll keep reading. (-:


  2. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by John Clark and Business Coaching, Stan Dunster. Stan Dunster said: RT @TomZiglar Teaching Kids to Respond vs. React: This question came in from a Success 2.0 Webcast.. http://bit.ly/5sGeE1 […]

  3. Brad D Says:

    I’m still a relativily new parent, My oldest daughter is only 4.

    I am a huge believer in the concept of choosing our responses, but it’s not always easy to walk the talk.

    I’ve learned it takes a lot of practice, control and patience.

    For some, it seems to come so naturally, I am almost envious

    But at my childrens young age, it is quite aparent that they learn by what they “see” much more then what I “tell” them.

    One time, my daughter spilt a glass of milk on the flow, and I overheard her say “Ugggh”, almost the exact tone of voice I used the week prior when I did the same thing! And that’s how I realized it’s not what we tell our kids, it’s what they see us do that matters!


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