Why Do So Many People Fail at Self-Help?
This question came in from our Success 2.0 Webcast last week.
“So many people buy into self-help, and participate in the listening, the reading, and some even the live seminars. But the amount who actually live the life they want or think they want is so small. How do you go from being genuinely interested in improving to actually improving?” Bobby
Bobby, Dad’s Be, Do, and Have philosophy is the answer here. You have to Be the right kind of person first. You become the right kind of person by listening to and reading the right kind of information, and by building relationships and learning from the right kind of people. Then, you need to Do the right things, before you can expect to Have the things in life that really matter. Many people fail because they don’t realize that Being the right kind of person is the most important step. You have to have character, integrity, honesty, etc., before the Doing part really pays off. Sometimes people will get focused on Doing, experience short-term success, and then lose it all because the foundational Being part is not in place. Or, they will get focused on the Doing, not achieve short-term success, and give up. When you focus on the Being, then Doing the right things in the right way will become a habit, and this will lead to the Having.
In short, many people who “fail” in the “self-help” stuff are looking for a magic formula of things they can do to be successful, instead of focusing on becoming the right kind of person first.