Custody of the House
I was talking to a good friend of mine who has a whole herd of grandkids. Unfortunately, one of his children recently went through a divorce and now the lives of several of his grandkids are turned upside down. They are always moving from one “home” to the next, never really feeling any of the security of a real home.
My friend said this: “If I was the divorce judge I would have awarded custody of the home to the children. Then, once ‘visitation’ rules were ironed out, the parents would be the ones packing and moving to spend time with the kids, not the other way around. The parents wouldn’t be allowed to disrupt the lives of the kids by bringing their new ‘friends’ to the home. The kids would get the security of a place to really call home, and the parents would have to deal with all of the moving. After all, adults are much better able to understand this and it would make a difficult situation much easier on the kids.”
For some reason this really struck me as Common Sense 101. Why? Because immediately it would make the parents realize the amount of hassle and turmoil their lives would be in, since they would both have to set up a new place to live and they would have to be packing and moving all of the time. If it’s too much trouble for them, then it’s too much trouble for the kids!
Maybe the main reason I would love this idea to be common practice is it would help selfish parents understand that once you have kids, it’s about them, not you. (Please note, I am not advocating this in the case of abusive or addiction family issues, just in cases where “I don’t love you anymore” is the primary reason for the divorce.)
Your thoughts and comments on this sticky subject would be great!