Quality Time vs. Quantity Time

Early on I remember Dad telling me that Love is spelled T.I.M.E. and that when it comes to spending time with your family you have to be very careful of justifying the little time you spend with them as “Quality Time.” The reality is that the important things in life, especially with your kids and your spouse, just happen. You never know when that special moment is going to take place – and that is why it is so important to spend a lot of time with those you love.

Last Friday night we had one of those great memory times. My daughter Alexandra had her friend Lydia come over and then our neighbor called and suggested we get together and play Monopoly. So there we were sitting around the table for several hours playing the “World Edition” of Monopoly (don’t get me started, it has a little electronic debit card system and you buy cities around the world using an electronic currency trying to form a One World government but I don’t believe in conspiracies or that anyone is trying to brainwash our kids). Bottom line is we had a great time, and we learned so much more about our daughter and her friend than the typical “what did you do today at school” conversation.

Not only that but I WON!

So the point is, don’t fool yourself into thinking you can make up for less time with “Quality Time”. It’s fine to plan and do special things, but it’s the everyday things and the total amount of time that really builds the relationships.

So after the game was over and Lydia went home we watched some TV and talked. The game really wore Alexandra out because she fell asleep on the couch doing what every teenager does these days. She fell asleep in the middle of texting her friends – and I have PROOF! Alexandra, your dad sure does love you!

Alexandra falling asleep while texting!

Alexandra falling asleep while texting!

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Explore posts in the same categories: communication, Faith, family, Right Choices

10 Comments on “Quality Time vs. Quantity Time”


  1. Yes, the notion of “quality time” is often about adults needs to reduce guilt rather than childrens needs. We are getting a little obsessed with quality, and being safe, and everything planned; children are little bundles of chaos from which miracles emerge spontaneously!

  2. Mike Says:

    Tom,

    Please keep your blogs coming! They are wonderful. Yours is the only blog I consider reading. I look forward to your inspirational writings! Mike

  3. Madhu Says:

    Tom,

    Every word you wrote in the 1st paragraph is true! These are the special moments we will remember as we get old, and so will our kids! A great blog! Thank you Tom.

    Forever a Zig fan-Madhu


  4. The Ziglar family is a very inspirational and beautiful piece of work the Lord has put together. Always be who you are and the world will continue to be a better place to live because of it.

    Keep the blogs coming TZ,

    Archie

  5. babbo Says:

    Good morning!!!!

    It’s interesting that you wrote this post at this particular time.

    Just yesterday, I was saying to my wife that I feel I am not “doing” enough with my kids. When I’m home, my focus is to be connected, engaged and truly listening to my boys (2 & 4 years old).

    But I often feel torn, trying to play with both of them at once. Of course they both want to do different things, so my focus isn’t so focused and I wind up feeling like I haven’t really connected with either of them.

    I’m working on making special nights for each of them. A time where I take just one of the boys out, so it can be one on one. Doesn’t really mater what we do.

    I’d like to thank you for this idea. You suggested it on one of your audio books.

    Zig, I’m grateful and inspired by your words and your heart.

    Thank you,

    Joey
    http://www.daddybrain.wordpress.com


  6. We have dinner together as a family on most nights, despite our heavy schedules. That has been key to keeping our teens talking to us, because they know we are listening and there for them. We have time together most evenings, and one of us is always available at the end of the school day for them. (My husband and I also have dates again, now that the children are able to be left alone for a bit, or we meet for lunch.) Even so, the wife of our former pastor wrote to me today and asked how we were doing on spending time together as a family, so this blog is timely and reminds me to check on how we’re doing with love/time.

  7. Stephen Says:

    Thanks for the great blog! We try to spend quality AND quantity time with our boys. My youngest got World Monopoly for Christmas and 2 or 3 of us will play together at least a couple times a month. Great family fun times.

    Keep the great posts coming.

  8. Lynne Lee Says:

    My children heartily agree. They love it when I stop and play games with them or take them out.

    They noticed when I didn’t touch my comuter for 3 days over Chrsitmas and were very appreciative.

    If time it too tight, Ir ecoomend tyou look yoto see where you can free up some time. You will all benefit.

  9. Jill Says:

    We recently truned off cabe TV in our house. That means we don’t get network TV either. As anxious as I was to “pull the plug” it has been wonderful for our family. The only drawback we’ve noticed so far is that we won’t be watching the Superbowl at home! It has given us time to reconnect as a family and have some wonderful family times together talking, playgames, and watching movies.

  10. Bridgett Says:

    So glad to have found you! I am sad for the little kids of the Monopoly world that will never get to play bank. And we won’t even go into paying for everything with a card. When will we learn.

    And as you can attest, they grow up so fast. Love those babies folks!


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